Thai Dart Champion - A night at the Fair.

Occasionally here in the sunny south of Thailand a fair appears just down the road from us in the local government offices car park. We can't fail to miss it as they play music so load we can feel it (not hear it- feel it) pumping throughout the house. Well last week it appeared I think it is to do with the Royal Ploughing Ceremony which marks the start of the rice planting season, anyway it is usually here for a couple of weeks. My daughter loves it because they always have a bouncy castle or slider in her language, so we have to go nearly every night just so she can play on the bouncy castle or "len lider" in Thai.

The other thing they also have is various games where you can win cuddly toys, Bingo, Target Shooting and of course Darts. Now back in England the fair usually has a similar array of games, the darts being very hard usually involving hitting playing cards with knackered old darts from about 10 feet, an impossible task. Here in Thailand you have to hit balloons, not full size but half size balloons. These balloon are all squashed together in rows in a wooden frame, now to me this is easier than shooting fish in a barrel. The locals of course are still in the "spear chucking" category of dart players, okay if you want to kill a wild boar at a hundred paces, but the over arm throwing a dart with all your strength is not the most accurate method for hitting balloons. So what you have to do is hit nine balloons with nine darts, bearing in mind that these balloons are about half the size of a standard dart board. I'm not saying I can do it every time because I have missed but it is the exception rather than the rule, I tend to only have one go because otherwise the guy that owns the range gets pissed at me, and I also end up with an audience. The prizes are all kids’ stuff, which is good seen as I have two a boy and a girl.

Anyway the other night I decided to have go, nerves can play a part because I am the only pale face for miles around and whatever I do always attracts an audience. On this occasion I had employed a well tested anti-nervous technique; I'd drank two large bottles of Chang Beer. So nine yellow darts against nine yellow balloons, easy peasy lemon squeezy, all perfect hits right in centre of all the balloons (sometimes if I'm feeling cocky I will hit target two rows of balloon one after another just to show how good I am, but this can be dangerous and as second prize is a 5 baht biscuit I usually just go for the prize.) I let the wife choose the prize and this time we decided to get something for my son Harry mainly because he has very little of his own, we got a nice toy car which he loves, unfortunately my daughter also likes it, but we had already got her a knock-off Barbie doll the week before.

The other good thing about these fairs is that later they turn the music up, (as if they needed too) and serve draught beer until midnight, unfortunately this is a rarity now for me as I have a wife and two kids, but occasionally I get to sit and drink a jug or two. As for the food, well its the same Thai stuff that you get everywhere, Somtam, Fried Chicken, Other fried stuff and of course deep fried grass hoppers and other assorted bugs - lovely - thanks but no thanks.